Les Details about the Idiotarod

[labrujah]

Attention Mushers, Runners, Race fans, and Abominable Snowmen!

The Idiotarod race kicks off Saturday, January 24, at 1p. It begins at
Pedro's in Dumbo and finishes at Union Square Park in Manhattan. The
rolling pageant and grueling endurance race will happen rain or shine,
blizzard or breeze.

This email is long and includes a lot of information. You do not have to
read the entire thing. If you are a racer, the Overview section will tell
you almost everything you need to know. Just make sure that at least one
person on your team reads the entire email; there are a lot of rules and
other important things.

You will find the following sections in this email:

Overview
Registration
Rules (General, Running, Carts)
Route
Times
Registered Teams
A Note for Volunteers
The Entire Contents of the Previous Idiotarod Email
Last minute notes


XXXXX OVERVIEW XXXXX


The Iditarod is the famous long-distance race in which yelping dogs tow a
sled across Alaska. Our Idiotarod is pretty much the same thing, except
that instead of dogs, it's people, instead of sleds, it's shopping carts,
and instead of Alaska it's New York City.

The race begins at Pedro's in Dumbo, Brooklyn, and finishes at Union Square
in Manhattan. Teams of five will compete for cash prizes and a box of
fireworks.

We expect teams in costumes, hot-rod shopping carts, and all sorts of
ancillary mayhem. We think it will be extraordinarily silly.

Everyone is invited to race. If you would like to race and do not have a
team, please send an email to jstark@nonsensenyc.com telling us what kind
of team you would like to join: In It To Win It or Drinky Drinky. We will
do our best to find you a good home.

We would like to have some sort of afterparty, but we have not figured
anything out yet. Please let us know if you have a space or another clever
idea in mind. We should be finished between 4 and 5p.

Please pass this email along to anyone who needs to read it.


XXXXX REGISTRATION XXXX


You do not have to register before the event, but we would really
appreciate it. If possible, please send us your team name, your email
address, and your phone number to jstark@nonsensenyc.com or call 718 855 8910.

So far there are almost 15 teams registered. We expect 20, for a total of
100 racers. It will be glorious.


XXXXX RULES XXXXX


Rules will be enforced by a number of referees at the starting line, the
checkpoints, and scattered throughout the race area. Serious violations
will be disqualified. Minor violations will receive time penalties.

General
* There is no official route. The race includes a start, two checkpoints,
and a finish. You must begin at the starting line, hit both checkpoints,
and then cross the finish line. It is up to you to choose your own route,
factoring in street surface, traffic, and any other relevant factor.
* You must remain at each checkpoint for 20 minutes.
* Your team must register at the start of the race. The fee is $5 per
person, or $25 per team. All the money will go to three cash prizes and a
box of fireworks for the winning team.
* The head referee will be the final arbiter of rules and all things fair
and unfair. Do not piss off the head referee.

Running
* Teams must include five members.
* The same five members must start, finish, and hit every checkpoint
together. You may not swap in designated runners.
* Four members (Runners) must be attached to and running in front of their
carts during the entire race (except at checkpoints). One person (Musher)
must run behind the cart. You may ride in the cart, but it is dangerous and
not recommended.
* Runners and mushers may rotate positions.
* Members must be on foot at all time. Bikes, rollerblades, and such are
not allowed.

Carts
* Teams must use a standard shopping cart. Any size cart is fine, as long
as it is not a child's cart or a toy.
* Carts may be modified, but they must include every part of the original
cart. For example, you may cut the bars and lower the cart, but the bars
must be reattached to the cart somewhere else.
* Carts must ride on rubber caster wheels. Wheels may be any size, but they
must be solid rubber. No inflatable tires.
* Carts may not be motorized.
* In the case of snow or ice, carts may ride on sleds or skis.


XXXXX ROUTE XXXXX


You must hit each checkpoint. You will be held at the checkpoint for
exactly 20 minutes.

* Checkpoint 1 (start): Pedro's Bar and Restaurant, 73 Jay Street, at
Front, Dumbo, Brooklyn.
* Checkpoint 2: A bar near Bowery and Canal, Manhattan. To be confirmed on
race day.
* Checkpoint 3: Bowery Poetry Project: Bowery, at 2nd Street, Manhattan
* Checkpoint 4: Union Square South, George Washington statue, Broadway and
14th Street, Manhattan


XXXXX TIME XXXXX


Teams should arrive at Pedro's at 1p for registration.
The race starts at 1:30p, sharp.
Volunteers (referees and checkpoint attendants) should arrive at noon for
staff meeting.


XXXXX REGISTERED TEAMS XXXXX


This is a working list of registered teams. There is a chance that there is
a team that is not listed below; we might have just misplaced the note or
forgotten what you told us late at night in a bar. Please forgive us and
just send us an email to update our roster.

Black Label 1
Black Label 2
Wamp, Sto
Fakework 1, Casey
Fakework 2, Nellie
Madagascar 1, Albert
Madagascar 2, Dallas
Madagascar 3, Mike Ross
Chengwin, Kurt
Toyshop
Ellencherrie
Team Thrillseaker, Todd
Team Hornswoggle
Green Dragon, Jonny America
Bears
Tianna Kennedy


XXXXX VOLUNTEERS XXXXX


Yes, we could use volunteers. Please send us an email.

For those of you who have already (volunteered), please expect a
coordination email later this week. We will ask you to be at Pedro's in
Dumbo at 12 on Saturday for a pre-race staff meeting. You are allowed to
wear costumes or thematically appropriate clothing.

This is a list of current day-of volunteers: Sherry, Jason E, Mark, Violet,
Hackett, Zeke, Amy, Jenny and friends, Brad


XXXXX CONTENTS OF THE PREVIOUS EMAIL XXXXX


None of this contradicts the new information. We figured it might be useful.

Idiotarod
January 24, 2004

The Iditarod is the famous long-distance race in which yelping dogs tow a
sled across Alaska. Our Idiotarod is pretty much the same thing, except
that instead of dogs, it's people, instead of sleds, it's shopping carts,
and instead of Alaska it's New York City.

The event will take place on January 24, 2004. It will start in Brooklyn
and end approximately four miles later in Manhattan. Teams of five will
race for a cash prize. And fireworks.

*Who can race?*

Anyone. Everyone. We anticipate approximately 20 teams. You can forward
this invitation to anyone you know.

*Isn't it going to be cold?*

You can count on it. The race goes off rain or shine, blizzard or breeze.
Bundle up, sissy.

*What's the route?*

That's up to you. There are two checkpoints. You choose the fastest path.
You will be held for 20 minutes at each checkpoint. There will be booze at
the checkpoints.

*Can we get drunk?*

You bet.

*Are there rules?*

Yes, quite a few of them. For starters, four people must be attached to and
running in front of the cart at all times. There will be referees along the
route to disqualify cheaters.

*Does my team need its own shopping cart?*

Yes.

*Where do we get a cart?*

Be resourceful.

*Are you suggesting we steal it?*

We didn't say that.

*Can we modify our shopping cart?*

Yes, although there are rules -- kind of like stock car racing. Your
shopping cart must roll on four rubber caster wheels. The only exception is
that you can attach some sort of sled superstructure to the bottom of the
cart in case of deep snow or treacherous ice. As a general rule, you can
attach things to your cart, make a riding platform, and grease up your
wheels. You can also chop up the cart and rearrange the pieces -- but they
all have to be accounted for. And because one team has already asked, no,
your shopping cart can not be motorized.

*What is this going to cost me?*

Dignity. Plus, there is a $5 per person entry fee. The winners take the pot
-- and the fireworks. There could be endorsements, too, and, of course,
right of sire.

*Can I make a side bet?*

Absolutely.

*I want to race but my friends are lame. Is there a team I can join?*

Maybe. Email us and we'll do our best to put the stragglers together.

*This sounds funny. Can I bring my video camera and document it?*

We would much rather you race. We think you'll have more fun. But yeah, you
can come cheer on the teams at the starting line or at any of the
checkpoints. And, fine, bring your video camera.

*Do you need any help organizing this?*

Totally. If you want to be involved with the project but can't run for some
reason -- like you just had ACL surgery and are still hobbling around on
crutches -- we could use you at the checkpoints. Please let us know.

*Can my team wear matching outfits?*

Knock yourself out. There will be a prize for the most handsome team. Plus
right of sire.

*Where did you get this crazy idea?*

We stole it from a group of people in San Francisco who have been doing it
for 10 years. Good ideas are rarely original.

*Where can I get more information?*

Look at http://www.precisionaccidents.com/idiotarod/ or email
jstark@nonsensenyc.com.

*Where can I learn more about the real Iditarod?*

This is a good website: http://www.iditarod.com/

*Will there be an afterparty?*

Probably.

*How do I sign up? *

It would be great if you sent an email or called me on the phone.
(jstark@nonsensenyc.com, 718 855 8910.) You're also free to just show up on
the day of the event.

*How are you going to end this email?*

Mush.


XXXXX LAST MINUTE NOTES XXXXX


This is a competitive event, however it is also silly and fun. You do not
have to run the entire time, nor do you have to stay sober. We will not
reward drunkeness or sloth in and of itself, however there will be a prize
for the most creative team. That's nearly the same thing, right?

Like most races, this is just partly a competition against other teams. The
real challenge is to find the courage and wherewithal in yourselves. You
are going to be running across the Manhattan Bridge with a shopping cart
and a dog costume or something. If you can do that, and make it up Bowery,
who really cares if you win?


XXXXX END XXXXX


See you on Saturday! Dress warm and wear your running boots.

Comments

[nyclife.livejournal.com]

i can't believe i'm missing that this weekend!!! 100% up my alley.

[never-the-less.livejournal.com]

yo -- thanks for posting! i am always annoyed that bikers have critical mass but those who prefer foot to pedal power have no equivalent. are you participating? if my weekend meeting that i have scheduled (can't remember if it's sat. or sun.) doesn't conflict, i'm going to try to get myself on a team somehow. if you are participating and need an extra person, i'm your runner!

[labrujah.livejournal.com]

I'm not running but I will probably be doing something along the way. Email Jeff if you need a team to join -- jstark@nonsensenyc.com.

I think it's going to be awesome.

[tyrsalvia.livejournal.com]

Oh, yay, I'm so glad that SF Cacophony tradition got exported!

[ankie.livejournal.com]

LOL! I just got Ellen's Degeneres (old) book "My point (and I do have one).." in the mail last week, and there was a story in it how she needs a hobby, hears about the Idiotarod and then trains her two dogs to participate ;) I thought it was all made up! :D